The Words Get In The Way
by Blue Angel 1245
Summary: HieiBotan story set to Gloria Estefen's Words Get In The Way. When she doesn't get his love in return she turns to another. How does Hiei take it and does she ever get his love?


Okay here is another Hiei/Botan story set to Gloria Estefan's song "The Words Get In The Way" This time the angsty part of the story is by Hiei. In the song it is in the view of a woman, but I wondered what if Hiei was experancing this feeling in the song and Botan was the cause? So here it is I hope you enjoy it. Please review. I love hearing poples thoughts and feedback. Anyways enjoy :o)

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or the song, but the idea is mine.

He knew, he had known for a long time that something was off. It was like he could feel it in her kisses and her hugs. The same amount of passion that had been there was gone. The sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him was no longer there either. So he followed her and saw her with him. He had to fight down his instincts so hard not to pull out his sword and kill the man she was with. He had given his heart and she had just taken it out with a dull spoon. He couldn't help but wonder about them. 'Does he know you like I do? Does he know your temperamental side? Does he know that even under your cheery exterior you can have moods too? Those you tried so hard to keep me from seeing, but you forget whom I am and I see. I know you have hard days like the rest of us.' Now when he sees her he could feel his heart beat wildly and his anger rise.

_I realize you're seeing someone new_

_I don't believe she knows you like I do_

_Your temperamental moody side, the one you always try to hide from me_

There had been so many times he had wanted to shake her, slap her anything to hurt her like she was hurting him. Yet every time she looked at him he could feel his anger leave and all he felt was emptiness. He could see that she was wanting to tell him, but she couldn't. She has tried for so long to tell him. As she comes towards him he opened his mouth to tell her the words he had never told her before. His pride had never allowed it and now it seems that it had cost him the only thing he's ever loved, besides his sister. He had to tell her before she broke his heart more or rather he broke his own heart, by keeping the words from her. No matter how much he tried as she stood talking to him to tell her he couldn't get the words past the lump in his throat. How much he cared, how much he didn't want to loose her.

_But I know when you have some thing on your mind_

_You've been trying to tell me for the longest time _

_And before you break my heart in two,_

_There's something I've been trying to say to you_

Damn those words no matter how small just would not come out of his mouth. He sat there in front of her while she finished talking to him and wandered away to talk to Keiko, silently cursing himself and his stubborn pride. He wondered if he could get her to look into his eyes if she'd see what he had been trying to tell her. It wouldn't be easy for him to show, he usually kept his emotions very well covered up, but she was worth it to him. Maybe if she sees his love for her there in his eyes maybe she will fall in love with him again. Could she ever fall in love with him again? His heart sunk at the possibility of that never happening. "Damn I should have told her, but those damn words won't come out." He cursed louder and earned curious looks from the others in the room. They soon went back about their business, but Botan kept throwing glances his way as she talked with Keiko.

_But the words get in the way_

_There's so much I want to say_

_But it's locked deep inside and if you look in my eyes,_

_We might fall in love again._

He could hardly stand those glances. Who knew that he'd fall for her so hard and be this upset about loosing her. He frowned as he watched her. She had gotten one of those cell phones and he heard the shrill ring go off and saw her look at it. She excused herself and went outside to answer it. His scowl turned more severe as he looked at the closed door. It was now or never, he had to do it now when she was outside and not with the group. He would not let his emotions show. He will not let her see his confusion and hurt and anger. He'd just tell her and leave, that was all. He could feel his body tremble slightly as he stood up and made his way to the door. He could feel the stares of their friends on his back watching curiously. He growled at them and opened the door; whatever happened between them was not their concern. He could hear their whispers as he pulled the door closed after him and knew they wanted to know. She turned to him as she put her phone away. She had tears in her eyes and he knew it was now.

_I won't even start to cry, and before we say goodbye_

_I tried to say I love you_

_But the words got in the way_

It was always so easy for him to tell when she was upset and there was nothing to mask her upset at that moment. Maybe it was because she knew he would go to her. Maybe it was because she knew it was over. Her heart had always been there and she was always open with him, but now he didn't know her. She had lied to him for the past month and hurt him even if she didn't know how much. His heart when given was not given lightly and she should have known that. For him to even try to have a relationship with her should have told her how deep he cared! Now as he stood there watching her he knew he had to let her go. His heart might not matter, but he knew she was hurting too and if letting her go was going to make her happy and stop her pain then he'd do it.

_Your heart has always been an open door_

_But baby I don't even know you any more_

_And despite the fact it's hurting me,_

_I know the time has come to set you free_

She opened her mouth to say something to him, but closed it at last minute. Her tears finally fell as he watched her. He made no move to comfort her and she took it as the sign it was meant to be. "So how long have you known?" She asked as she turned away from him. "A month." His answer was simple and toneless. He saw her shoulders slump and shake with tears. "I was going to tell you, I …." She trailed off as he spoke. "I know." Still so simple and with no emotion, she would not see his feelings. She turned back to him and watched him as she spoke. " I met him in Rekai about two months ago. His name is Matt. He gave me something I needed and it was after a fight we'd had. Something with us just clicked and that's how it started. Hiei I love you, but I can't stay in a relationship without it being returned." She looked at him with a new glint in her eyes. "You won't have to onna. It is over. I won't hold you back anymore." There he'd said it, yet as he tried to spit out those three little words she wanted to hear from him he couldn't.

_But the words get in the way_

_There's so much I want to say_

_But it's locked deep inside and if you look in my eyes,_

_We might fall in love again_

"You don't love me anymore anyways do you onna? If you did he wouldn't have mattered." He stated with a glare. "I do love you Hiei, but I need more then just your body or mind. I need your heart and I don't have that." She was surprised at how clam he was and how calm she was too. It had stung when he'd called her onna. An old name from the days before their relationship, one he'd used to annoy her. Where they to go back to that then? Were they to just be friends? Her eyes burned with unshed tears and she fought to hold them back. "So that's it then?" She asked him with hurt and anger in her voice. "You're just going to give up?" His eyes narrowed. "You gave up onna! You went with another man so don't tell me I'M giving up! YOU gave up on me and pushed me out!" his voice rose and he was shouting at her forgetting the others in the temple and his own resolve to stay emotionless. "You've made your decision onna so go to him and leave me alone!" with that he turned on his heel ready to flee when her whispered voice met his ears. "I don't want him Hiei, I want you. Don't you love me even a little?" he spun around so quickly and in the fury and heat of the moment he screamed at her. " I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU BOTAN!" The others in the house went to the window and looked out seeing them face each other. One in tears the other in a mask of anger. Their eyes were wide and curious. Botan's eyes were wide and her mouth hung open as she tried to say something. "Then why did you never tell me? Why did you hide it from me? I don't love Matt, Hiei! I love you! He made me feel loved and cared for. You didn't give me the love I gave you in return, but he did and that was why I was with him. He made me feel loved. I know I made a mistake Hiei, I know I hurt you and myself, I hurt our relationship, but despite my decisions and despite your lack of emotions I don't want to loose you! He called me and I told him good-bye, I told him to leave me alone, that I didn't love him, but that I love you. Please lets try to work this out." She pleaded with him and saw his eyes soften a little, but then harden and his jaw set. "Maybe in time we can, but for now I can't. You really need to figure out what you want and when you do then maybe we can work this out. I tried many times to tell you I loved you, but my pride didn't allow it. But I didn't lie when I said I have always loved you." His eyes softened again as he took in he tear soaked face and trembling body. "When you know what you want come find me." With that he kissed her quickly in a chaste kiss on her lips and flitted from the area. Even though it was small and chaste it made her lips tingle and it gave her hope that maybe one day they'd be together all the way, both of them giving their hearts and getting one back in return. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into the eyes of Yusuke. He hugged her gently and led her back into the temple. Someday they'd be together again she could feel it.

_I won't even start to cry, and before we say goodbye_

_I tried to say I love you, but the words got in the way_

_I'm trying to say I love you_

_But the words get in the way_

Again I hope you liked it please don't forget to review. Thanks for reading. :o)


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